Library Shenanigans

Once upon a time, I was a full-time grad student.

That time has passed.

Now I just have to write a thesis. Which I haven't touched since May 2012.

Yep. May 2012.

I've been making my way to the library off and on these past few months to finish up research and data collection of the mammoth thesis project. And I've noticed a few things.

1.) Dragon necklace guy behind the counter should know by now that I ask for the same crap every time I come in there. I'm pretty sure zero people come in there and ask for 1966, 1968 or 1970 microfilm of the Arkansas Gazette and the Arkansas Democrat. Plus I look the same, give or take. T-shirt. Messy bun. Yoga pants. You'd think by now he would know that I KNOW how to work the microfilm machine. But every time dragon necklace asks me if I understand how to use it. I always nod and politely say yes unfortunately I'm very familiar with it. Come on, dragon necklace. Get it together.

2.) If you stay in the library long enough, you will catch yourself singing out loud to whatever song is blasting through your earphones. Today I caught myself singing Bruno Mars' Gorilla. Probably not library appropriate....but hey, they can't arrest me.

3.) You know it's time to leave the library when you start texting people in headlines and you think it's funny. It's not funny. It's sad. Very sad. Today's headline read Disgruntled grad student demands caffeine in library. Luckily, I have good friends that actually laugh instead of not ever talking to me again. I went home after that.

But I'm pleased to say I have only nine more months of newspaper coverage and editorials to sift through before I can start writing again. So if I gave 8-9 days to the library, that can all be over. And then I'll never have to see dragon necklace again.....or until I need to check out 498734985723974 books for said thesis writing.

Things are coming along.

I don't want to toot my own horn or anything. But I think it's going to be a nice piece of literature. Something I will be proud of.

I say that now.

The Guy with the Dragon Necklace

The campus library is full of interesting charcters. And of few of those characters have crossed my path during my research time.

As the semester goes on, I find myself spending quality time with the microfilm machines. To get the mircofishe, you must go to the circulation desk. Apparently the library staff believes people want to steal hundreds of spools of microfishe because they keep it locked up in a separate room in the back section of the circulation area. Come on, people don't want to steal rolls of old newspapers.

So anyway, I am in the library, and there are two library workers behind the counter. The head guy and a little nice girl, who helps me out quite often. I have seen the guy before on many occasions. This guy is much different than the I'm-not-sure-if-he's-married guy at Starbucks. The library guy wears a sa-weet dragon pendant on a thick chain. I'm pretty sure he rocks a chunky ring and a braclet to match. Keep in mind this is NOT a blingy chain or dragon, and that the guy is white.

Now I'm not saying this is a bad thing. To each his own. I'm sure I wear stuff that make people think "what was she thinking?" But this guy takes the cake every time. Some days I don't notice the dragon as often as other days. Yesterday was another story.

Library guy, let's call him Tom, was in rare form. Usually Tom is pretty standoffish. You know the silent type. The girl who was working with him recognized me from Sunday...because I was the girl who broke all the microfilm readers on the same day...within a 2-hour time frame.

She strikes up some friendly conversation while I tell her what mircofishe I will need to look over. As she goes to the back room to get the microfishe, she makes a joke about how I broke all the readers on Sunday. 

Library Tom decided he would try his hand at small-talk. He looked up at me with his dragon pendant hanging proudly from his neck and said, "You're the one who broke all the printers?" I said, "Yes, I did. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to, but now I know how to fix it." I smiled, trying to lighten the mood. He wasn't having it.

He said, "Oh no, my poor babies!" I was like, "What?" He said, " I just mean they [the microfilm readers] are like my babies. I would be so upset if something happened to them."

And there I stood, dumbfounded, while he acted hurt that an archiac piece of machinery ALMOST broke. Really? Come on. I was amazed. And then he got up to make me fill out a form for my mircofishe, and the dragon pendant caught my eye.

It took all I had not to bust out laughing. I got so tickled, almost as tickled as I was the first time I realized the dragon on the chain. It's not something you don't notice. Dragon is wild and out with a curvy body covered in metallic scales and red rhinestone eyes. Sent me over the edge. I had to get away.

I know it was rude and conduct unbecoming of a lady, but I just couldn't help myself. I was overcome with laughter. Now take this with a grain of salt. I really could care less if Library Tom rocked the dragon pendant or not. I just had to share the story with you. It is hard to explain the sheer awkwardness of Library Tom and the dragon necklace. Stop by the library and catch a glimpse if you can. Totally worth it.

Until next time...

Tales from the Library Bathroom

So yesterday was a Debbie Downer day until I went to the library. I was hoping for something funny or great to share with you today, and thankfully I have something perfect.

On the days I have class, I go to the library to go over what we will be talking about that night. Yesterday was no exception. I made a little trip to Starbucks, and then I went to the library. I sipped my coffee and read over my notes and highlighted stuff from the text. Then nature called.

So before I make my way to my building, I decided to stop by the library bathroom. I know it seems like a weird story I shouldn't be sharing, but I promise it is totally worth it.

I go into the small, two-stall bathroom on the ground floor of the library. Two other women are already in there; one washing her hands with the precision of a heart surgeon and the other was in one of the stalls.

So I check to see if someone is in the other stall. Then the girl comes out the stall and announces to me and the other woman, who is still meticulously washing her hands, that there is no toilet paper in that stall. So she goes into the one I was investigating.

So I decide to wait my turn, and as I try not to watch the girl with crazy hand washing tactics, something happens.  The girl in the stall blows her nose once. Then twice. Then a third time. I know you wondering what is so funny.

Here's the kicker...Between the second and third nose blow, a little gas escapes (if you know what I mean).

The other girl was still washing her hands. I swear they should have been red and bleeding by then. And there I was waiting my turn like a good girl when the girl in the stall lets out a very prominent toot.

And what did I do? Tried my very hardest not to laugh. It is so childish, but it is always funny. My mom is 43 years old, and she still laughs at toots every time. While it makes you feel a little sick and uneasy, you still have to stifle a chuckle. Every time.

So I take the toot as my cue to get out of there, and I walk over to my building. This building is shaped a lot like a parking garage with open airways. But the bathroom situation is a little messed up. The even floors have the ladies rooms, and the odd floors are for the men.

So I take the elevator to the fourth floor ladies room. While I am in the bathroom stall, another girl comes in. And she blows her nose. Twice.

I come out of the stall to see that the Library Tooter is in my building in the fourth floor bathroom with me. And when I come out of the stall, we recognize each other. Let me just say, I was in shock. And she was glaring at me. I know she had to know I left the library bathroom to get away from the funny awkwardness.

It was unbelieveable. So unbelieveable that I couldn't have made it up. Things of this nature only happen to me. And there are always no witnesses...unless you want to count Washed Raw Hands from the library bathroom.

Moral: If you have to blow your nose, please try to refrain from blowing so hard that you pass gas. It just puts everyone in the bathroom waiting on the one stall in an awkward position (ex. the awkward eye contact made after such an incident has occurred). I realize gas passing is out of a person's control at some points. But just be aware.

Until next time...