Library Shenanigans

Once upon a time, I was a full-time grad student.

That time has passed.

Now I just have to write a thesis. Which I haven't touched since May 2012.

Yep. May 2012.

I've been making my way to the library off and on these past few months to finish up research and data collection of the mammoth thesis project. And I've noticed a few things.

1.) Dragon necklace guy behind the counter should know by now that I ask for the same crap every time I come in there. I'm pretty sure zero people come in there and ask for 1966, 1968 or 1970 microfilm of the Arkansas Gazette and the Arkansas Democrat. Plus I look the same, give or take. T-shirt. Messy bun. Yoga pants. You'd think by now he would know that I KNOW how to work the microfilm machine. But every time dragon necklace asks me if I understand how to use it. I always nod and politely say yes unfortunately I'm very familiar with it. Come on, dragon necklace. Get it together.

2.) If you stay in the library long enough, you will catch yourself singing out loud to whatever song is blasting through your earphones. Today I caught myself singing Bruno Mars' Gorilla. Probably not library appropriate....but hey, they can't arrest me.

3.) You know it's time to leave the library when you start texting people in headlines and you think it's funny. It's not funny. It's sad. Very sad. Today's headline read Disgruntled grad student demands caffeine in library. Luckily, I have good friends that actually laugh instead of not ever talking to me again. I went home after that.

But I'm pleased to say I have only nine more months of newspaper coverage and editorials to sift through before I can start writing again. So if I gave 8-9 days to the library, that can all be over. And then I'll never have to see dragon necklace again.....or until I need to check out 498734985723974 books for said thesis writing.

Things are coming along.

I don't want to toot my own horn or anything. But I think it's going to be a nice piece of literature. Something I will be proud of.

I say that now.

The Joys of Free Time

There are times in one's life when it feels like there is not enough time. And there are times in life when you are praying for something to do.

Right now, I'm in the latter group.

There comes a time in a person's life where watching Netflix excessively, eating too much cereal, deciding if working out is a priority and figuring out how long you can do without clean clothes becomes less cool.

In college and right after college, those things still seem acceptable. But after having a job, being unemployed, getting a new job and becoming unemployed again, it just doesn't seem right anymore.

Having all this free time brings on feelings of guilt and inadequacy. It's depressing. And humbling. And frustrating.

And three years ago as a first year grad student who was working and driving all the time, I would have killed for free time.

You always want what you can't have. And once you get it, it's just not as colorful as you thought it would be.

I long for the feeling of contentment. And I usually take to content feelings like a duck to water. I like knowing what I have is enough. That I have it together enough to feel satisfied. That's a beautiful thing.

And then something happens that makes those feelings go away.

Losing your job to lack of funding. Landing two perfect-for-you job interviews but not getting the jobs. Meeting someone you really like for the first time in a LONG time but not getting to spend time with said person because of 500 miles of highways.

I'd love to tell you it was just one of those things bothering me. But I'd be lying.

And I have been doing stuff. It's just not stuff an almost 26-year-old woman with a college degree/pending Master's degree should be doing with her time.

For example:

• Excessive time spent on Pinterest. Just a few things that have caught my eye.

• Yoga, which is a pretty productive use of my time. I do still need to workout.
• Job hunting. AKA sifting through the desert wasteland. Also productive.
• Domestic chores. AKA laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, etc. Again with productivity.
• Excessive Netflix watching. It's gotten so bad that I can barely find anything to watch.
• Thesis work. Less productive.
• Daydreaming about said person 500 miles away. My productivity black hole.
• Blog reading. One of my favorite ways to pass time.
• Thumb tweedling.

On a positive note, the roommate and I did go horseback riding on Sunday. 

The roommate got a blind-in-the-right-eye horse. He was a gentle giant. A perfect gentleman, too. 

I got a horse named Candy.

She liked to go the same speed as molasses. I was usually 4-5 horse links behind no matter how hard I kicked her in the side. Although at one point, she did break into a trot, which in turned left me with a bruised butt. I wish I was kidding. But I'm not.

Other things to mention about horseback riding: 

• Always wear pants to prevent chaffing.
• 100 degrees is not ideal horseback riding weather.
• Be prepared for a bruised butt due to trotting.

Now since I have all this free time, you'd think I'd write on this blog every day. But I can almost guarantee each days post would sound like this.

I got up. Brushed my teeth. Made coffee. Watched Netflix. Applied for jobs/went to the library to work on the thesis. Came home. Went to yoga/went to run. Ate dinner. Exercised the most self control to not text/call said person 500 miles away so I don't look like a needy girl. Went to bed. Tossed and turned. Fell alseep after 1 a.m. Repeat.

Nobody wants to read that depressing crap every day. So I'll try to do my best to come up with better content.  

Waiting for Summer

In exactly 5 hours, I will be defending my thesis proposal to my graduate committee. I am so nervous. The possibilities of what they will say about my work are endless. And this is just the beginning. Remember it's just the proposal. They have the power to make me change anything about it that they see fit. Yeah, I know. The gravity of the situation is upon us, or I should say me.

But besides that major thing happening today, I do have some good news to share with you.

Critical Methods paper is complete.

Let's recap the semester so you know exactly what I put myself through:

• 27 page, 9,373 word original research paper
• Nine page thesis proposal
• Four books 
• Four book critiques
• Seven text book chapters
• Seven chapter synopses
• Six assignments
• Seven online posts
• Approximately 10 scholarly articles for online post submissions

And now you know why I'm officially crazy. School will do that to you. It will.

To help with my paper writing over the weekend, I bought myself some happy little daisies. And I moved them from my desk to my chair by the window as I did various school activities over the last few days. They are still so beautiful and happy. 

I've raised half my goal amount for St. Jude's half marathon. If you want to donate to the cause, just go right here and leave any amount that you like. Small donations are welcome...meaning just cause other people donated $100 doesn't mean you have to do that. 

I absolutely need these blush woven shoes. Absolutely NEED them. 

Ok, so after today's thesis defense...Who's taking me out for a drink? Any takers?

My Tornado Life

School is crazy. Absolutely insane. My life is like a great big tornado throwing me from one place to another and then back again. So. Not. Cool. 

Take a look at what I'm dealing with right now.

Two MAJOR things happen next week. And I'm trying to prepare for both of them. Holy cows! I'm scared to death about both things. Prayers are much needed.

But on a BIG, more exciting note, I signed up for St. Jude's half marathon yesterday.

And I became a St. Jude's Hero. Basically I will be fundraising for St. Jude's during my training period leading up to the race.Visit my Heros page, and make a donation. Every little bit helps. And it all goes to help pay for families who can't pay for cancer treatments for their children.

I've got a lot going on. So just stay with me. I'll be back to my regular scheduled posts as soon as school calms down enough where I can breathe. T-minus 8 days and counting.

Sidenote: The Little Rock Farmers Market is amazing. Go there. Get the locally grown strawberries.

It will be unlike any strawberry you've ever had. So delicious. But don't eat them all at once...like I almost did. 

Have a great week! Happy Hump Day!

Tell me something good.