Blessed Beyond Belief

After publishing yesterday's post, I was a bit nervous. I never really know how people are going to take what I choose to write about, and yesterday's post was not easy for me.

I want to thank you for your unyeilding support. I received numerous texts, phone calls, tweets and Facebook messages about yesterday's post.

To share something so personal and close to my heart, I am so overwhelmed and humbled by your kind words. I truly am at a loss for words. Nothing I could ever say would explain how thankful and blessed I am to know such wonderful people.

When I started this blog almost two years ago, I didn't really know where I would take it. I mean it basically started as an outlet for my school stress. But then, over time, it has become this beautiful place where I get to write about things that are important to me, or silly to me, or whatever. And you guys keep coming back to read it time and time again.

As I type this with tears streaming down my face, I don't understand why you as a reader would keep coming back to read my endless rants about grad school and boys who broke my heart and first kisses of the New Year.

Thank you. So much. So so so much. I'm honored and humbled that you would take time to read about my life.

Thank you for enduring the rants about homework and stupid teachers and thesis work. Thank you for not judging me for making "poor decisions" when I drink too many Play-de-doos. Thank you for commenting when you feel moved by what I've written. Thank you for considering my point of view.

But most of all, thank you for listening to me and caring enough to read it again and again.

I am moved by your willingness to accept me as I am. And I am forever grateful for the opportunities and blunders I experience on a daily basis because I get to share them with you.

Happy Friday! Be lovin you.

Some Things Fall Apart So Better Things Can Fall Together

I got some pretty neat things the other day. And I want to show them to you. But I've got something else I need to talk about. So here's the deal. I'm gonna show you the pictures with minimal descriptive words, and then get to the heart of this post. Remember when I said transparency...Well I meant it.

I got new bowls and cookbooks from Anthropologie. It's all too good. And those outrageous yellow beauties are currently on the way to my doorstep from California.

Now on to the next part of the show.

Right before Christmas I told you I had a friendship break-up. And while I'm not ready to discuss the details of said break-up, I do need to talk about some things that have been brought to light.

Not a week before the friendship break-up, my friend Jodi posted a quote on Twitter that said "Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you something great will come of it." (Come to find out it's from the movie We Bought a Zoo, which I loved, just FYI.)

The whole time my friend was in Little Rock I kept thinking about how I need to tell him everything I was feeling about our relationship. So I worked up the courage and did something about it. And got a response I didn't want, but figured would happen.

Now I haven't told anyone this part of the story yet. But it's important to talk about today because I found out he is now engaged.

The day I told him everything, we spent some time talking about other stuff. And somehow we happened onto the subject of Heaven and Hell. And I being the girl born and raised in the Bible Belt, spent elementary school at a private Lutheran school, and attended church on the reg for years said something like, "Well it doesn't matter if I die because I know where I'm going." Meaning I know that I'm gonna go to Heaven when the good Lord tells me it's my time.

And his response to me was "You don't know that for sure."

We then went into this long, drawn out conversation about if God was actually real. As a Christian, it was a true test of my faith, and I tried very hard to stick to my guns. But my friend was very adamant about not knowing for sure.

The point of this story is not to offend anyone, it's to help explain myself a little better.

As he was saying all these things to me, I found myself becoming angry, and I got really quiet. And then he changed the subject.

And that was the moment I knew, even if he accepted all the things I was about to say, it wasn't going to work between us.

God is a big part of my life. I pray on the reg. And when I want to talk about Him, I want my significant other to share the same feelings of love for our Savior as I do. And when it comes time for me to leave this earth, I want my man to know and believe that I'm going to a better place, and that he will go there, too.

So I'm sure you're wondering why I went through with the whole telling of the feelings crap. I had to for me to know for sure. Sometimes you just need to hear that it's not in the cards.

And while we were friends for 3 years and he asked me out in college and I told him how I feel now, it would have never worked out because it's not suppose to. Because God has made a man especially for me.

And I can't wait of that day.

So it's totally ok that he's engaged. And it's totally ok that I said all the girly feelings. And it's all ok because some things fall apart so better things can fall together.