Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Ever Moving Forward

What is it about friendship break-ups that are so much worse than regular break-ups?

I broke a friendship yesterday. But in my defense, it was a long time coming and I got the worse end of the break-up stick. Truth is I'm not ready to talk about what happened. I need time to heal and gain some perspective on the entire situation.

But you can read about the saga of our relationship here and here and here. Like I said, it was a long time coming. And I knew once I said what I needed to say, his response would not be the one I wanted to hear. But I did it anyway even though I knew it would cause me a lot of pain.

When it comes right down to it, if I had never said anything about the way I was feeling, he would have been oblivious for a long time. And I would have always wondered what if. But now I know it's not what I thought it could be. So I push on. Ever moving forward.

The roommate wrote me a note to try to cheer my spirits. I found it by the coffee pot this morning. Reason 987459827 as to why she's the best roommate ever.
It says:
Things to think of today...
  • We have in our possession a pair of the exact gloves they wear on Deadliest Catch. We can pick up everything frozen.
  • We are freakin funny.
  • We own a Christmas fetus candle. (ed. note: The candle is called Christmas Festival...the roommate can't read.)
  • NEEDTOBREATHE. Well we met them. Looked into all their eyes.
  • We be lovin each other.
  • We own 4,052 coffee cups.
  • Animal dance moves of ours are clearly inspirational.
  • Katie is most likely on her bed.
  • We are going to get a sticker
  • Cancas.
I'm not sure when I'll be ready to talk about the details of what happened yesterday...and the past week...and the past three years. But someday, I'll share this life lesson with you. But I can already tell you I'm a better person for having had the experience. A much braver person than I thought I ever could be.


  1. Well I think you are amazing.. I also think that sometimes break ups with people are needed ESPECIALLY if it's causing more damage than good. I'm telling you one day you will look back on this day and it will all make sense, and you and God will have a great laugh at realizing why things have to be this way and then you'll look on to a scruffy haired man with his lil ponytail stickin out the back with his hat on singin his life away and you'll smile...... And find yourself feeling the needtobreathe... :)

  2. Bear Rinehart will always be my one true love. Gotta love Needtobreathe. Best band ever.

  3. I just went through a friendship break up last week. I truly feel your pain.

  4. It's not a good feeling. But deep down I know it's for the best.