Here's what I've learned/what I know.
- Job hunting, in any form, is frustrating.
- Crying solves zero problems, but it makes me feel better.
- I feel guilty for not working. Like something is very wrong. The college version of me would be disgusted with this guilty version of me.
- I love days off. But I hate this permanent days off thing I'm currently in.
- Money absolutely does not grow on trees. Trust me I check the trees outside every morning. No money.
- I go nowhere so I spend no money. It's a very sad existence.
- I'm qualified to do the jobs I apply for, but they always want MORE experience. Hello, you have to have a job to gain experience. Pretty soon all the people coming out of college won't be able to get jobs because they have zero experience.
- My baby face is a disadvantage. On paper, I'm a 24-year-old college graduate with a pending Master's degree upon the completion of a thesis. In really life, I look like a 15-year-old. Sigh.
If I could just get in a room with a potential employer, I have the confidence and the drive to win them over. I want to work. I want to have a career in the field I love. I want to help as many people as I can. I feel called to do those things.
With all this drive, it's hard to stay in such a stagnant period for so long. I mean YOLO. (I sort of hate myself for saying YOLO just then, but it felt appropriate.)
For the past month or so, I've prayed that God would put me on the path He created for me. To put me in a job where I can do great things. To move forward in a way that is pleasing to Him.
And I'm ashamed to admit that I am frustrated, upset and little bit depressed about my current situation. I fully trust in Him to provide me with all the things I need to be the person He wants me to be. So I feel even more frustrated and upset that I would be having any of these thoughts in the first place.
Please pray for me as I go through this MAJOR transition period in my life. Pray that I am on the path God has created for me. Pray that I do not get frustrated with myself for things that are completely out of my control.
I need your help. I can't do this alone.