Thursday, October 21, 2010

When one door closes, a window opens

This has been a tough week. On Sunday I found out a long-time high school friend died in a car accident. This is the first classmate and second young friend who has passed away in the last five years. So needless to say, I have not been myself lately.

My thoughts and prayers are with the Murray Family during this difficult time.

Yesterday I went to the funeral, which was basically a class reunion under terrible circumstances. Everyone was there. The entire church was packed. Standing room only. He would have loved that.

So I find myself taking stock of my life. What is important to me? What do I love? What makes me happy? All of this is important to know because I would hate to say I've had almost 23 years to live this life, and what have I done...because nothing but God keeps me here on this earth, waking up every day. Who knows when He will call me home?

Enough of the morbid talk, but I have been thinking about what makes me happy or use to make me happy. I have little time to spare with school and work dominating my life, but I want to start taking a ballet class.

I took ballet for 15 years, and I really loved it. I loved the music, the grace of the movements, and its relaxing quality. It was a structured kind of creative. Something that could be taught and perfected over time. Something that forced discipline to mind and body. But at the same time, it was so beautiful and full of life and spirit.

I have been thinking about it for a while, how I want to dance. But now my want to has been turned into more of a need to. I feel like I need to have some kind of outlet for my school/work/other areas that cause me stress. I want to do something I truly love and appreciate. I want to dance, have warm-ups on the bar, get lost in the wordless music with my mind focusing only in the moment and what my feet are doing.

Life is short, even when it is long. But it can get cut shorter because of unexpected events or incidents. We should be doing something we love along with the stuff we have to do. Make a conscious effort to review your life to this point. Look at it from all aspects. Remember what you use to do, but don't anymore. Bring back the childhood memories so Coke floats or Cracker Jacks. Find something you love and incorporate it into your life. Maybe it's something old, or maybe it's something new. Who knows?

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