Thursday, June 7, 2012

Self Reflections

Yesterday was the first day since Asher was diagnosed that I cried. I had just gotten home from work, and I checked Facebook to see if any updates had been made to The Brooklyn Project. Susan had posted a status on the page, and it wasn't one I had expected.

The bravest little girl in the world just stood there and let me shave her head with zero protest. This child amazes me.

And that was all it took. Waterworks central. Tears rolled down my face, and I just let them. When we found out she was sick, I made a pact with myself to not cry in front of her. And I've kept it. So these tears were three weeks of held-back tears. Talk about a release.

In the midst of my crying, Susan sent me a text of this.
And I lost it again. More tears. How beautiful is she? Look how happy and at ease she is. This child's life has changed drastically in the past three weeks, and she still has the carefree, child-like smile and attitude (for the most part).

In a desperate attempt to get myself together, I went for a lone run at the Big Dam Bridge. And I was blessed with the most wonderful inner peace.

All was right. My mind was quiet. My worries ceased. It was just me, the sound of my feet on the pavement and my easy breathing. The most perfect run.
I could have ran for days. Or at least it seemed like it. But it was getting dark quick so I called it quits when I hit the 5K mark.

As I drove home, I reveled in post-run glory and thanked the Father over and over for giving me just what I needed. What I've been needing for a long time. And He delivered just at the right time. How sneaky and perfect is that?

"Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." 
Colossians 3:15-17 The Message Bible.

Today's the day I begin working on cultivating thankfulness in all areas of my life. Asher's diagnosis has taught me patience and perseverance. But Asher, the old soul trapped in a three-year-old body, has taught me to keep moving forward through the bad moments and to be thankful and happy for the good moments. This is only the beginning...So many more lessons to learn from her. #Godisgood

What has she taught you? Leave a comment if you'd like to share.


  1. You are amazing! Your strength in all things inspires me!!

  2. As a parent, Ashie, as Jax calls her, is teaching me day by day not to sweat the small stuff. We get so wrapped up each day in bills, work, what we "have" to do, cleaning, what we look like, etc., that we forget what is important. What is important is taking time for God,family and friends. What is important is supporting those we love with all our hearts. Do we not realize that so many do not have that. So many have no fmaily, no one to turn to, no one to support them! what if they were gone tomorrow....where would we be? Do not take those people for granted; thay are the most preciuous gift God could ever give. They, not things, are what life is about!

  3. No matter what you are going through you can smile. :) It is as simple as that. With God you can do anything.