A Heart to Serve

The good Lord has blessed me with a heart to serve. It's simple. I want to help other people.

I've worked in the non-profit sector since I graduated from college. For the most part, I've had a very pleasant experience, and I've learned a whole lot about how different people are in the process.

The hardest lesson I've learned/am still trying to learn is some people don't have a servant's heart. They don't see helping people as a priority, unless it benefits them in some way.

My soft heart has been callused in more ways than one in my 25 years on this earth. But I try to be open to other people's perspectives and plights outside of my own.

My favorite definition of to serve is to be useful.

To be useful.

Because if you're not being useful, you are being useless. And that's not how I want to live my life. Useless.

I've recently been struggling with my purpose. The Father's purpose for me.

And over the course of the last few months, I've seen His work come to life all around me. I've been freely giving of myself and my time to this and that, and I've taken hits from all sides. I've heard it all.

"You can't do that."

"It will never work."

"People won't participate."

"It's never been done that way before."

"Why do you even try?"

And I've asked myself at various times why am I doing this. The answer is always the same.

He put me here to do good works. To give of myself and my time freely. To love people because they haven't been loved on in a while. To serve. To be useful. Despite all the backlash and speed bumps. He will make me useful for His purpose.

Does that make me perfect and free of frustration? Absolutely not. I'm constantly frustrated by people and things that are out of my control. But I'm also constantly reminded that He is in control. He knows the outcome and worrying about it is absolutely pointless.

About a week ago I was in a moment of self-doubt, and my daily devotional said this:

I'm leading you, step by step, through your life. Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy - even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine. This, like all forms of worry, is an act of rebellion: doubting My promises to care for you. 

Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repent and return to Me. I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that. Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go. - Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

I've been wanting to write about this for a while, but I struggled to find the words to say it. Whether you know you have a Servant's Heart or not, I challenge you to be useful and serve. And try to be mindful of other people who are serving.

It's not rocket science; it's love.

Love people.

This Is What I Know

1. Running is hard work. It's a mental battle. Thankfully I have won each time we've met (so far).

2. Driving with the windows down and the music turned up after a run with a view like this is the best.

3. Running with your mom is seriously fun and scary. I had such mental anxiety because she's ran a half-marathon and could run circles around me for MILES. But she just let me do my thing. Thanks Momma.

4. Being sweaty is fun. And posing for pictures after a run with your mom is even more fun.

5. First run at Two Rivers Park and leaving with this view is too good. What is it about sunsets that make you feel all gooey?

6. The roommate got new running shoes. She's now "in it to win it."

7. The roommate also likes/hates it when she's had an off-running day. Hopefully she will have a better day tomorrow. Isn't this face priceless?

8. Two miles in the blazing sun is an accomplishment. Nuff said.

9. I'm still worried that my toe nails will fall off or turn black. Is it weird that I now pray for my toe nails? Surely not.

10. Running has become one of the times where I talk to God. Not out loud, just in my head. Most of the time, I pray that I will make it through the 30 minute workout. Or that I don't pass out due to heat. Or that I don't get dehydrated. But on a good run, when I feel at my best, I pray for my family, friends, frienemies, the future. You know things like that. I think God led me to make this decision to run to grow closer to some people and, ultimately, closer to Him. Now that is TRUE LOVE. I'll take it. Thanks, Jesus. See you on the trails, if not before.