Sometimes You're Not Prepared

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful momma! I'm so happy you came to spend the day with me. I had the best time. For those of you who weren't in attendance on this Mother's Day extravaganza. Here is a recap. Hold on to your hats. You won't believe what happened.

My mom gets to Little Rock this morning at 10:30. We had reservations at a little place down the street from my new apartment. After stuffing our faces, we decide to get coffee at my all time favorite Starbucks. It doesn't matter to me that there are two Starbucks on Cantrell. I want to go to the one on University every time. It has the best feel and nicest people working there.

So we are making our way to the best Starbucks. We get there and go in. As we order our drinks and I'm making conversation with the barista, I see a familiar face. (As I'm writing this, I'm getting the same nervous feeling I get when I'm uber-nervous).

It's the boy I knew in college who liked me, but I was too hung up in my own drama to care at that time. For more on the details of our past, check this out. It's a pretty sad story, and I've always regretted how it ended. In his words, I spurned him. And he is more than likely correct. But that's a whole other story for a different day.

Anyway we see each other, and I basically forget how to function like a human being. It was like I was on auto-pilot, and the real me was hovering above the situation watching. We hugged and made small talk because at that point I was still speechless and acting like a total loonybird.

I haven't seen him in person in three years. And he looks G-R-E-A-T. Really better than great. And we hugged. My heart was beating like 10,000 miles per hour. And I was super nervous and looking for something to say. Nothing clever or interesting came out.

Thankfully, my dear mother came to the rescue. He asked if that was my mom. And I said yes. Then, she took over the conversation because God knows she needed to with me standing there like a mindless idiot. I told him she was into running and that she followed his blog.

And I'm trying to focus on what they are saying. My momma, bless her heart, could not stop staring at him. It was the longest, most nerve-wracking five minutes of my life. It was like someone shot me in the head with a stun gun. I was acutely aware that I had said nothing of importance or cleverness.

Once the conversation ended, my mom and I leave the Starbucks. As we were leaving, I could feel her looking at me. I turned to meet the stare of my mother who knows me better than any other person on this planet. And there was the look.

She said, "Are you serious? That was him? He is so hot. What were you thinking? I can't believe you would pass that up. Are you kidding me? Get back in there and say something."

I said, "I know I was stupid. I was 19. What do you want me to do? He's got a girlfriend. I can't just be all 'Hey, How you doin?' I know I messed up. Dang it."

She said, "Ah, yeah you definitely messed up. He is so cute. I couldn't stop staring at him."

I said, "I know. I'm an idiot."

And that's basically what happened. Little Rock is a big city. I knew he lived here, and I figured we would run into each other eventually, but never in a million years thought it would be two weeks after I moved here.

I know you're wondering what I'm going to do. The answer is nothing. It can't be forced. And it's obvious that I will be a total buffoon and that I will lose my mind whenever I'm around him. I can distinctly remember him saying something to me three years ago. That one day I would realize and reget it. That one day I would be "Dang, he looks great. What was I thinking back then? I knew I should have said yes to all those dates he asked me to go on."

Well it happened today. In real life. I lived the realization. Lesson learned.

Moral: When someone asks you on a date that you actually like, say yes. Forget the hang-ups and the drama of your not-so-important situation that's going on with whatever-his/her-name-is. Go out and have a good time because the guy or girl who asked you out probably is better for you than the current flame you are battling with all the time.

Don't be like I was back then and let the opportunities pass you by. GO. FOR. IT. That way you can see what happens.

So here's to the next times I see you (you know who you are). I'm saying times because I feel like I will need times to get over the social awkwardness that consumes my brain. And I'm saying times because at some point I hope there will be. But until then...I'll see you there, or I'll see you on another time.

Until next time...