Thursday, January 27, 2011

Tales from the Library Bathroom

So yesterday was a Debbie Downer day until I went to the library. I was hoping for something funny or great to share with you today, and thankfully I have something perfect.

On the days I have class, I go to the library to go over what we will be talking about that night. Yesterday was no exception. I made a little trip to Starbucks, and then I went to the library. I sipped my coffee and read over my notes and highlighted stuff from the text. Then nature called.

So before I make my way to my building, I decided to stop by the library bathroom. I know it seems like a weird story I shouldn't be sharing, but I promise it is totally worth it.

I go into the small, two-stall bathroom on the ground floor of the library. Two other women are already in there; one washing her hands with the precision of a heart surgeon and the other was in one of the stalls.

So I check to see if someone is in the other stall. Then the girl comes out the stall and announces to me and the other woman, who is still meticulously washing her hands, that there is no toilet paper in that stall. So she goes into the one I was investigating.

So I decide to wait my turn, and as I try not to watch the girl with crazy hand washing tactics, something happens.  The girl in the stall blows her nose once. Then twice. Then a third time. I know you wondering what is so funny.

Here's the kicker...Between the second and third nose blow, a little gas escapes (if you know what I mean).

The other girl was still washing her hands. I swear they should have been red and bleeding by then. And there I was waiting my turn like a good girl when the girl in the stall lets out a very prominent toot.

And what did I do? Tried my very hardest not to laugh. It is so childish, but it is always funny. My mom is 43 years old, and she still laughs at toots every time. While it makes you feel a little sick and uneasy, you still have to stifle a chuckle. Every time.

So I take the toot as my cue to get out of there, and I walk over to my building. This building is shaped a lot like a parking garage with open airways. But the bathroom situation is a little messed up. The even floors have the ladies rooms, and the odd floors are for the men.

So I take the elevator to the fourth floor ladies room. While I am in the bathroom stall, another girl comes in. And she blows her nose. Twice.

I come out of the stall to see that the Library Tooter is in my building in the fourth floor bathroom with me. And when I come out of the stall, we recognize each other. Let me just say, I was in shock. And she was glaring at me. I know she had to know I left the library bathroom to get away from the funny awkwardness.

It was unbelieveable. So unbelieveable that I couldn't have made it up. Things of this nature only happen to me. And there are always no witnesses...unless you want to count Washed Raw Hands from the library bathroom.

Moral: If you have to blow your nose, please try to refrain from blowing so hard that you pass gas. It just puts everyone in the bathroom waiting on the one stall in an awkward position (ex. the awkward eye contact made after such an incident has occurred). I realize gas passing is out of a person's control at some points. But just be aware.

Until next time...


  1. This kind of awkwardness happens in my office all the time. Once a girl was even singing a little ditty in her stall when she "let one go" and even laughed at herself. Some people have no shame. Then, you don't want to put a face with the toot, so I usually wait until that person has washed and left, but then others probably assume I'm doing unholy things in the stall myself. It's a vicious cycle really.

  2. You are so right. It's a lose-lose situation for the toot hearer. I would usually also wait for the person to leave. But I thought for sure it wouldn't be the same girl blowing her nose...and it was. Glad to know I am not the only one to have these awkward moments. :)