Slowly Killing the Roommate

As most of you know, my birthday is coming up very soon...as in Sunday. I am getting pretty excited about it. I love an excuse to celebrate something, and this time it just happens to be my special day.

My roommate MT has been been begging me for the past couple of days...I should say at least a week now for me to open my gift from her. It started on the 28th to be exact. And I told myself I had to wait because it was more than a week until my actual birthday.

For those of you who don't know MT, she has a serious problem when it comes to waiting to give a gift. For the past three Christmases, we have exchanged gifts at least two weeks early. Because 1) she hates waiting, 2) the excitement of giving the gift literally is painful to her and 3) she is always concerned she won't actually see me on Christmas day, which is normally true. So we usually open Christmas around December 10-15.

I want to say that all my birthday gifts have been opened early due to the same three reasons listed above. But this year I had to be strong. So last Friday when she asked if I wanted to open my present (which she had just finished making/wrapping), I said no. "It's not my birthday MT. Not for another week."

We had a little friendly tiff, but she dropped it. Only for it to resurface on Sunday and again on Tuesday. Tuesday was the worst so far. Let me just tell you a little bit about her.

MT is one of the funniest people I know. Most people thinks she is quiet and sweet, which is true apart from the fact that she talks all the time. But you do have to get to know her for a while before you get the good funny stuff out of her.

Unlike me, MT does not cuss. Sometimes when we drink, I try to use peer pressuring tactics to make her say shit or damn. So far I have been unsuccessful.

But the other night while we were arguing over when was the best time to open my birthday present, she made me an offer I almost couldn't refuse.

After five or so minutes of persuasive raised voices of "Open Your present!!!" She looked at me and said, "If I cussed, would you open your present?"

I said, "Depends on what word or phrase you use."

She said, "What about 'Open your dang present', but without the dang...you know what I mean?"

I laughed a little and said no. I told her if she was going to cuss she better string together all the profane words she knows, otherwise it was not worth it.

You would have thought I had killed her. I mean she made me an offer I almost couldn't refuse. But I held strong. Tonight after class, I will put her misery to rest. I am going to open her gift, which I am sure I will love. And she will be happy. And all will be right with the world. Yay for birthdays and gifts and friends that offer a cuss word as an incentive to open a present.

Until next time...