Thursday, April 5, 2012

Life in Segments

I've really been loving cuties know the little Mandarin oranges.
 This morning, as I was peeling and segmenting my cuties, I started to think about how my life is segmented.

Grad school. Work. Job hunting. Friends. Family. Boyfriend. Writing. Running. Yoga. Enjoyable activities. (I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting.)

It's interesting to me how some segments look good, and then others look like not so good. But that's life I guess. It's full of ebbs and flows. Ups and downs. Good and bad. And we as people just take it like it comes.

But I started to wonder how many people are forced to segment their lives. How many people pick their work, which may just be a mediocre job, over something they actually love, like spending time with their families or traveling or whatever.

Let me tell you a secret: I've figured myself out. What I like. What I don't like. Who I want to spend my time with. Where I like to eat. What I stand for. What I'll defend. What I'll let fall by the way side. I don't have everything about everything figured out, but I've got me figured out.

I am who I am. I am someone I like. I am happy in my own skin. I march to my own beat, and I like it best that way.

Lately, I've been defending myself a whole lot. So much in fact, that certain sides of my personality that don't get showcased very often are out in full display all the time. And I don't like being that way...But I feel forced to defend myself and the things that are important to me.

Let me give you some examples of how far I've come in all this:

Three-years-ago-me would have been told by her then-boyfriend what we were doing on the weekends. If it interfered with something I'd already planned, I would bail and do whatever then-boyfriend wanted because I didn't want him to be upset with me.

The-now-version-of-me catches flack from now-boyfriend about running interfering with his idea of our weekend plans. The moment the complaint about running finishes coming out of his mouth, I shut it down. I defend why running is important and why it's important for him to support me, even though it's something he's not interested in or understands. Definitely not something I use to do.

We have to stand for something, or we will fall for anything. And I will not fall back into those weak ways I once knew very well. I will not let myself be walked all over. I am stronger and braver now than I ever was. And I will not let that be compromised.

Like I said, I am who I am. I am proud of who I am. I will always defend who I am and what I stand for.

"I am woman, hear me roar." - Helen Reddy