Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Holy Crap I Can't Handle Stuff Like This Before 8:30 A.M.

Dudes we have to take a break from the HTDTYSAKW series because it's only 8:30 in the morning, and I have already overcome a crisis.

Exhibit A:
A newly released from life cockroach.

Exhibit B:
Cockroach killing assistant.

Now let's really talk about what happened.

7:30 A.M. I stopped at Starbucks on the way to work to get some coffee because I'm out of half and half at home...clearly a good reason to hit up the Bucks.

7:50 A.M. I sit down at my desk and turn on my computer. Check the work e-mail. Check the personal e-mail. Open Blogger to check my favorite blogs.

8:05 A.M. The co-workers start to come in. Lots of movement. Papers shuffling. Talking amongst ourselves.

8:07 A.M. Hairy-legged cockroach makes it's first appearance on the bookcase near my desk.

8:07:30 A.M. I zero in on said hairy-legged cockroach. Drag Tiffany over to look at the cockroach with me. Feeling of disgust and horror consume my thoughts.

8:08 A.M. Try to convince Tiffany to kill the cockroach.

8:15 A.M. Tiffany and Stacy leave me to conquer cockroach alone.

8:15 A.M. to 8:25 A.M. Played out worst case senarios in my head of cockroach flying in my face, crawling on me, just walking around on its spindly legs. I shudder.

8:25:30 A.M. Cough. Almost throw up. Pace around in a circle.

8:27 A.M. Get pissed off at said spindly legged cochroach. Find the Raid.

8:28 A.M. Use Raid to end cockroach's life.

8:30 A.M. Crisis over.

If the cockroach were still here to tell us his side of the story, I'm sure he would have a good reason for being inside my office crawling on the bookcase near my desk.

But I didn't give him a chance to speak. I just sprayed that Raid until there was a thick sheen on the cockroach's legs and everything in that general area smells of cochroach killing spray.

That having been said, the can of Raid will stay at my desk in case others come to mourn the death of their fallen brethren.

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