First Class Roommate

I've lived with the same roommate for 5 years. I mean that has to be a world record. And everyone thinks Samantha, the roommate, is the quietest, sweetest girl ever. Everyone loves her.

But nobody knows that she is an absolute loonybird. She's not a bit quiet. In fact, she never shuts up. And she has a bit of an attitude, which I like to think she picked up from me throughout the years of living with me.

The reason I bring this up is because everyone thinks the roommate has it together. That she is prim and proper and lady-like. Nobody ever sees what she's really like.

Last night I caught her in one of her finer moments.

This is mild compared to the fact that she likes to scream into the couch cushions and has conversations with me while sitting on the couch facing the wall.

And I always say, "Nobody's ever here." Nobody ever sees her like this except me.

Clearly she's insane and hilairious. And the comedic relief that I live with every day.

So stop saying that she's quiet. Don't do that anymore. Because it's a false statement.

The kid never shuts up. And if you listen to her, you wouldn't want her to shut up because she is the funniest person I know. She's a guaranteed laughfest.

Other classic Samantha/roommate moments:

• The time she made me go get Dorito's with her in a hurricane.
• The time her arm looked like death.
• The time she hid old tennis shoes in her trunk for 3 years.
• The time she made an awesome t-shirt.
• The time she lured you in with her photogenic self.

I hope I've cleared up any misconceptions of the roommate and her insanity. And now you know. So next time you see her, scream at her and I'd bet she'll scream back.