Thursday, May 12, 2011

Scary AND Exciting

In just a short while, school will be out for summer. And by that I mean today.

And that fact makes me a happy camper.

Let's just recap the semester. It's been crazy for realz.

Here's the breakdown for 9 hours of grad level classes.

Chapters in textbook read: 27
Assignments: 25
Tests: 5
Papers (10-25 pages each): 3
Presentations: 2

The crazy studying that has been my life is slowing down. So lets hope that crazy goodness starts up this summer. I am really excited about summer. While working will take up some time, I enjoy my co-workers so much that I'm happy to see them and talk about other stuff besides how school ruins social lives.

I have big plans this summer. Lots of weddings. My best friend is getting married. My college roomie from Freshman year is having a baby any day now. I have to finagle my way to a beach ASAP. So much to cram into three short months. Summer's aren't as long as they use to be when I was a kid.

I am also going to debut my running career. But let's be honest. It won't be a career, but it will  be a debut. My mom is so freaking excited to gain me as a running buddy. She's basically planned runs in her head, and then tells me all about how great it will be.

She says, "I can't wait til school's out, and you start running. I can come to Little Rock and run the Big Dam Bridge and trails at Pinnacle. Oh my gosh, there are so many trails there we can run. It will be so great. You will just love it."

In my head this conversation happens:

Nervous me: I hope she realizes that I can't run as far or as fast as she can. I'm nervous. What if I suck? What if I'm not good at it? Crap, this is intense.

Rational me: Calm down, you big baby. You will be fine. Stop being overly dramatic.

Nervous me: I know, but...

Rational me: NO buts. You know she will take it easy on you at first. You know it will be fine. And just think how good you will feel when you reach your goal. It will be so great. You will feel so good about it.

And then I'm drawn back to reality by my mom asking if I'm paying attention to what she's been saying.

I'm excited and nervous, all at the same time. But more excited than nervous. It was a decision I made for me. Something I want to do. So the butterflies are good because that's how you know you really want to do something and be good at it.

When something scares you and excites you all at the same time, it's totally worth looking into. Those things turn out to be the best things for you. True story.

I was scared to change my major from Pre-Pharmacy to Journalism in college, but I was excited because the change was so big that I couldn't be too scared. And that turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made.

Writing still scares me and makes me feel excited. It's scary to put stuff down on paper or on the blog because it's your thoughts on something.

Writing for school is less scary for me than writing this blog. School has rules to follow, and I make the rules for this blog. What I write in school only the teacher and maybe a classmate will read. But what I write on this blog, anyone can read.

And this blog is a reflection of me personally so that's a whole other kind of scary. Each time you read you get this little slice of my life. I think what if this is stupid  or what if they don't care about this or they probably think I'm a weirdo freak.

But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Because I will write, and someone will read. And for this I am thankful.

Thank you for reading about what happens to me. I realize sometimes it's not that interesting, but sometimes it gets too interesting. Thank you for enduring my rants about grad school, stupid teachers, assignments and the like. All the summer posts will be free of grad school drama and stress. So lets celebrate for three months straight. Ok? Great.

Be loving you guys.

Until next time...

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